Ok. My family LOVES to make a mess. If there's a mess to be made, they'll do it. From cluttered desks to piles of laundry to piles of dishes, my family can make our home feel dirty. No matter how often I tried, they were always resistant to doing any cleaning. My husband was the best - he was relatively willing to do dishes when they needed it.
I'll tell you the well kept secret of those moms whose kids are always happy to pitch in and help and whose husbands so willingly pull their weight around the house. The house is already clean. You heard me right: Their house is already clean before they ask for help.
So, what's the use of asking for help? Maintenance.
So, say your house is a mess. (I know, it's hard to imagine, right???) You keep nagging at your family to help you clean. What they probably see is not the individual mess they make, but the overwhelming task of cleaning the whole cluttered, dirty place in one day. You also know how they feel. You don't want to clean it either!
Now, say your house is relatively clean. Instead of nagging your family, they actually take care of their clutter without being asked...at least a lot of the time. Why? It's easy for them to see the wreck they've made of the place, and therefore easier to wrap their brains around picking it up.
But how do you wrap your own brain around cleaning it all up on your own? Well, you do it little by little. It's not going to happen in one day. If you try to do it all in one day, you wind up exhausted and cranky.
Yesterday, I was so tired. I didn't have a logical reason for it really: I spent the morning doing things for my blog, went to work for three hours, and came home and napped. I got up from my nap when my husband got home. To my surprise, he started doing the dishes. I felt so bad that I hadn't gotten that done, or taken out the trash, or done anything around the house, I apologized to him. He smiled and said, "Hey, we all have off days. I don't mind getting things done on your off days." If every day is an off day, though, he gets resentful of pitching in.
I think this is especially true for the housewife. I know that 15 years ago, when we decided I would mainly be a stay at home mom, the deal was that I would take care of the house and he would bring home the money. I did a sad job with my end of the deal for a long time, even though I couldn't have asked for a better provider. He would work all day at the office, come home and find the house a wreck and me laying around napping or watching tv. So, he did the dishes and cooked dinner, muttering the whole time about doing it. It's a different world now. Even if he comes home and finds me napping, he knows I did something around the house each day, because the house is much neater than it was before. I usually have the dishes done and dinner in the works, so it's not so hard on him on the days I could use the help.
Basically, I can only speak from my experiences. I have found though that my family groans and moans less about pitching in now that the tasks are far easier to do in a short amount of time. I even find that the cleaning bug is contagious. My teenage daughter CLEANED her room, without being asked, and all on her own not too long ago. I was shocked.
Good things happen when you put the effort in. Your hard work is an inspiration to those around you. Want to get your family to help? You have to start the effort.
Help! My family won't pitch in!
Posted by
Beth is wfg
Monday, January 27, 2014
4 comments:
Enjoying your blog. Thanks for sharing. Our house is usually relatively neat, but there are times when it is not as clean as I would like it to be. From when they were very young, the boys have had chores. Today, those chores include taking out the garbage, and alternating weekends of cleaning their bathroom/bathing the dog and vacuuming/steaming the floors. These chores have not changed in years. Still, they need to be told... every. single. weekend. Hubby does our bathroom and the laundry (Both of which he thinks he can do better. I merely give him the chance to prove himself right). Theoretically I do all of the cooking, dusting, errands, and the daily picking up. I say "theoretically" because, like you, I have bad days. Sometimes, just one here and there, other times, I curl up and sleep for days/weeks at a time. Right now, my house has not been dusted since before the holidays, the boys (all three) are getting tired of scrambled eggs for dinner (or whatever they can scrounge for themselves), and groceries would be nice.
Lots of great points here. I actually do feel a little bit like cleaning now! Inspirational!
It's hard when you're going through a rough spell, Lisa. I've been there. It wadn't pure laziness that caused me to nap so much! I hope you feel better soon.
Isn't it crazy how kids have to be reminded over and over about the same things? Here it's the bedtime routine. Our son is 10 years old and still needs reminding about every step of getting ready for bed. Thanks for the comments, Lisa and Lanie!
It's hard when you're going through a rough spell, Lisa. I've been there. It wadn't pure laziness that caused me to nap so much! I hope you feel better soon.
Isn't it crazy how kids have to be reminded over and over about the same things? Here it's the bedtime routine. Our son is 10 years old and still needs reminding about every step of getting ready for bed. Thanks for the comments, Lisa and Lanie!
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