Breaking the Cycle

For so many years of living with the cycle, I've let myself drown in the days of down.  I'd sleep, eat horrible food which just made the urge to sleep worse, and I'd avoid all things healthy, like exercise.  This past week, I found myself down again.  I was sleeping during the day, not doing my housework, and my kid was late to school several times because I just couldn't handle the fight to force him out of bed.

On Sunday night, after a particularly rough day at work, I decided it was going to stop.  The next day, Monday, I was going to pull myself together and begin the climb out of the hole.  I've made this decision before in the past...and promptly rolled back over and went back to sleep.  Monday morning, yesterday morning, I reaffirmed my decision to have both a better attitude and a more productive day.

I got my kid off to school on time, thanks to the fact that he got himself out of bed without my nagging him.  As we were leaving for school, I made my first solid choice towards feeling better: I packed the dogs into the car with us, ready to take a walk at the park.  I dropped the boy off at school and immediately drove to the park to explore the nature path with the puppies.  They enjoyed the time out of the house.  Although I felt like I was dragging myself down the muddy path after them, I did have a clearer head by the end of the walk.

Unfortunately when we got home, I laid down on the bed for awhile, ruining any momentum I had gained.  When I dragged myself out of bed around noon, I made another choice towards feeling better.  Housework was too daunting, so instead I went grocery shopping.  It wasn't a happy trip. I felt like I was wading through molasses most of the time, and I had a horrible headache.  But I did it and I made sure I bought fresh fruit and vegetables. 

That was another decision in the positive direction.  I also bought orange juice.  I'm not normally a juice drinker, but yesterday afternoon, I was drinking glass after glass of orange juice!  I honestly think it helped perk me up.  By the time my husband got home, I had cleaned up the kitchen and made dinner from scratch. If you had told me in the beginning of the day that I'd have the energy to do either of those, let alone one of them, I'd have laughed at you.

Decision by decision, choice by choice, I'm determining how my day will go.  Rather than let my mood decide what I do in the day, I'm trying to make what I do during the day decide my mood.  Today, I once more took the dogs to the park after dropping off my son.  Although I came home and laid down again, when I got up I cleaned the bathrooms.  Yes, I did lay down again after I did that, too.  I am up now though, drinking my orange juice and contemplating the pile of laundry that needs folding. 

I may not be a model of productivity, but every step I take towards being more productive, is a step in the right direction.

The Cycle

It seems to be a never-ending cycle in my life.  I have ups and downs that last for weeks or months on end.  Last week, a downturn hit me.  Getting out of bed, staying out of bed, is like slogging through mud.  The thought of cleaning is daunting because I feel like I don't have energy.

As a consequence, my house has fallen back into the cluttered mess it once was.  My husband, bless him, took time this weekend to catch up on the laundry I hadn't done last week.  He did dishes, fixed meals.  He even brought me flowers and chocolate in an effort to make my day better.  He's an awesome husband, in case you couldn't tell.

I told myself last night and this morning that today would be better, that I'd get some stuff done.  It's 11:45am now and I have accomplished nothing around the house.  I did get the boy-child to school on time and I took the dogs for a stroll at the local park.  I made an attempt to do something today - taking the dogs for a walk was a definite move to improve my general mood.

So, what about the house?  I am going to take myself grocery shopping first of all.  The house is getting somewhat barren of things to eat.  From there...I guess we'll see.  I'd like to get bathrooms cleaned and get the laundry that my husband washed folded and put away.  Here's hoping...

Here's hoping the down turns up soon.  I don't like this feeling.

A Fresh Start

Yesterday was cool and gray.  My ears were itchy and painful.  I was grumpy.  I didn't get anything done around the house.  I did not follow my routine which said I was supposed to clean the kitchen and dining room.  I went to the doctor and then sat around watching movies and crocheting.

I could let this day off totally kill my routine.  I could let it be an obstacle I can't go over.  I could get distressed because, oh by the way, we're having company over tonight and the kitchen floor has paw prints from the dogs, among other things.

Instead, I will return to the regularly scheduled program: I will pick up with today's chores and forget about yesterday's.  Oh, if I have time and energy I may still take care of the kitchen and dining room. But I am not going to stress over them.  I will not get hung up on the fact that I missed day. I will move forward from where I stand, not trying to make up the day I missed, forgiving myself the day I took to rest.

Each morning, I have the chance to start over, to make a fresh start.  Each day I make the choice to let yesterday affect my mood today, or to forget about yesterday's choices, indiscretions or mistakes.  My favorite line from the movie The Lion King is from Rafiki.  He whacks Simba on the head and Simba says, "Ow! What was that for?!" Rafiki grins and says, "It doesn't matter! It's in the past!"

In the past, I have a let a day like yesterday freeze me.  I'd see the daunting task of catching up with yesterday AND doing today's list.  I'd feel immediately overwhelmed.  Then the feelings of inadequacy, self bashing, the feeling of being a failure, would rise.  I'd throw my hands up and give up....there goes the routine.  For months, I'd avoid doing all but the most basic chores, simply because I'd missed that one day and gotten discouraged.

It's only when I took Rafiki's words to heart that I began to move forward, to realize that one day does not make a shambles of the routine I've set.  Taking one day off when I'm not feeling well, or have other things that are drawing my attention, is not a horrible thing.  I can't beat myself up over it.  I can't lose sight of the bigger picture - which is to make my home comfortable and neat. 

Nina Simone sings a song called Feelin' Good.  It's been a favorite of mine since high school.  It reminds me that each day I get the chance to start my life over, to choose to feel good instead of bad.  When I remember the song, it inspires me to be kind to myself after a bad day.  It frees me to begin my routine over again from where I stand, with no regrets or flagellation for having an off day.

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day! It's a new life for me.....and I'm feelin' good."

Perfectionism

I, like many, would like to do things perfectly.  Perfectly, the first time I do them.  It has been an expectation that has both crippled me and crushed me.  It has frozen me in my tracks, prevented me from doing so many things, from learning many new things.  For years, my own expectations of keeping a perfectly clean home prevented me from doing anything because I knew I could not do it just right.

In the last year, I have been teaching myself that it is ok not to be perfect. Through taking care of my house, I am learning that any effort is a good effort.  I'm learning that I don't have to do things perfectly someone else's way. I can do things just fine my own way.  I am learning that it is acceptable, preferable even, to do a little even if I can't do a lot.

It's been a rough road. I've procrastinated plenty.  So much that it had become a habit.  I had to break that habit before it dragged me down any further.  I used my routines to break myself of procrastination, but it took determination.

I could make all of the pretty pieces of paper with routines on them, I could dress them up in cute notebooks, I could post them on my refrigerator or walls.  I had to make the decision to follow the routines.  I did that one day at a time. 

At first I made a daily routine.  Having each day scheduled was ok, but in all honesty, I don't like being hemmed in by a routine on a daily basis.  I didn't need every hour accounted for.  It was just one more way to set myself up for failure. It was trying to be perfect on a daily basis.  It didn't work.

So, I turned to the internet to do some research.  Along the way I discovered all sorts of other ways to get the chores in the house done.  I learned about a weekly cleaning routine, which did not fence me in hour by hour.  It made me see that I could take the tasks bit by bit, instead of all at once.  Small bites are easier to chew than big ones.

The weekly routine also let me see that if I missed a day, it was no big deal. I just had to begin again on the next day.  So what if my  bedroom didn't get cleaned one week, or my kitchen didn't get wiped down.  I had cleaned my family room, so I'd done something positive.  The next week I could work on my bedroom and/or the kitchen.

This release from having the house perfect at all times was freeing. The knowledge that I could take it a little at a time, and didn't have to start at the beginning of the list each time I procrastinated and got nothing done for a day or two was a relief.

Slowly, I began to clean more.  A day here, a day there.  Then a couple days here and there.  Eventually, I made it up to doing a whole week of my routine.  That was exciting for me.  I'm still working on getting in a whole week of my routine.  There are some tasks I just don't want to do. I'm not sure if it's perfectionism or pure laziness that is holding me back, but it doesn't matter.  I start anew each day and forgive myself for not getting done the tasks I skipped.

I'm learning.  My house doesn't have to be perfectly clean to be better for my cleaning.  I'm learning that I don't have to be perfect.

Chaos Lives Within

I believe the state of my home is a reflection of the state of my mind.  When my mind is full of discouragement, black thoughts, and general chaos, so my house is full of mess and chaos.  I'm not sure which comes first, but I think it may depend on the day.  If that's true, then I can influence my mood and emotions by keeping a clean house.  Likewise, I can keep a cleaner house when my mood is up.

So, what do I do when both my mind and home are in chaos?  How can I climb out of the black hole in my mind and free my home from the disaster?

Start cleaning. 

That's what I should do, anyhow.  The very act of cleaning can be a meditation, a sacred act of prayer.  Prayer and meditation calm the mind and help me sort out my confusing and often depressed thoughts and feelings. During some of my most distressed times, the repetitive motion of some chores have brought things more clearly into focus and stabilized my frantic thoughts. 

When I clean to calm my mind, I choose a task which I can concentrate on fully.  Doing the dishes, cleaning baseboards, folding laundry.  It's very hard to multitask when doing these.  Multitasking causes more jumble in the mind.  If I focus in on one job, giving it my full attention until it is done, I am practicing mindfulness and creating a quiet space for my thoughts to rest.

Sometimes, instead of starting with cleaning the house, I will work on cleaning my mind first.  I will journal, draw, or crochet.  These things also calm my mind and sort me out, giving me momentum to carry on and clean the house.  What do you do to calm your mind when it is in chaos?  Could you make a chore into a meditation?

More about Mindfulness and Chores

Music to Motivate

I find music helpful in gearing me up to do my work around the house.  It has to be upbeat, something I can sing along with, and have a good beat that I can bop around to. 

Occasionally, I'll go with my album collection, but recently I've been listening to Pandora.  I have a station based on Train, one based on Billy Joel and a few others.  The Train and Billy Joel stations are the ones I listen to most when I am cleaning, though.

I started to wonder why music motivates me so much.  When I looked it up, I found this article from The Globe and Mail and realized how much it makes sense.  The music stimulates our brains and causes changes in our system which energize us.  The right music can affect your mood positively.

What music motivates you?  Maybe some of your suggestions will give me other options for musical motivation!

Just Do It!

The only way I get my chores done some days is to stop thinking about doing them and just get them done.  The more I think about how much I don't want to do them, the less likely it is that I'll do the jobs.

Still, getting up to do the chores takes some energy and some days I just don't have it.  Some days other things are sucking the emotional energy from me, making me feel like it's all hopeless.  Other days, I'm just so tired physically that the thought of doing ONE MORE thing seems as unlikely as a pig flying.

It just so happens that today is one of those emotional days.  However, so far I have taken care of my zoo of animals, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, started laundry and dragged my son out of bed.  That last one takes a Herculean effort.  How did I do it when all I really want to do is crawl in a hole?

I started with my brood of creatures.  The dogs were looking at me with their big, soulful eyes and I knew I wouldn't be able to get away without feeding them.  The cats were hovering around the water bowl which they had emptied overnight.  They'd be whining at me soon.  Cats and dogs needed medicine too.  So, for the sake of not having animals following me around the house all morning, I took care of them.

Then, I thought of how much nicer my hole would be if it was a bit cleaner.  If the kitchen wasn't stacked with dishes, I'd be less likely to feel miserable about those.  I still have the hand-wash dishes to do, but at least the kitchen isn't overflowing with plates, bowls and glasses.  Getting the first step done, the dishwasher dishes, makes it all seem less overwhelming.  (We didn't do dishes all weekend, so there's been some catching up to do.)

The laundry has gotten started because I don't want to leave my husband without socks to wear.  He told me two days ago that he would need clean socks soon and I didn't do anything about it over the weekend.  So, I started a load of laundry that has his socks in it in an effort not to disappoint him.

And finally, my son.  He was cold. He was sick to his stomach.  You name it, he probably complained of it.  He finally got out of bed after I took away electronics and began counting down to the next thing I would take away.  It's 8:23am and he's supposed to be at school by 8:30am.  I'm certain he'll be late.  Better late than never?  I struggle with getting him out of bed and to school on time almost every day.  If anyone has a good way to drag a kid off to school, I'd love to hear it.

Essentially, I stopped thinking about why I shouldn't do the chores and thought of why I ought to get them done.  My animals would quit hounding me, my little part of the world would be cleaner, my husband would be happier with clean socks, and my son would go to school for the day.  Flipping a negative into a positive is one way I motivate myself, even on the days I just don't want to do anything.  Some days, especially if I'm physically at my limits, I do take the day off of cleaning.  Those days are fewer nowadays.  I've stopped thinking so negatively about housework. I've acknowledged how much happier I am when it's done.  I've noticed how much more energy I have when I put in the energy to clean.  It's mentally exhausting for me to avoid something that I should be doing. 

But I Don't Wanna!

So, having a routine is great.  It's on paper, I check things off when I do them, yada yada yada.  I still fight with myself to get certain things done, though.  Of everything on my list, these things remain undone most often on a daily or weekly basis.

So, I have five cats and two dogs - imagine the number of furballs in my house!  With cats, come....litter boxes.  I *hate* cleaning litter boxes.  My family *hates* cleaning litter boxes.  (Why in the world do we have so many cats???  I ask myself this on a daily basis.)  Since everyone hates to clean the boxes, it usually falls to me to do it.  Every once in awhile I'll specifically ask someone to do it, but if I don't ask no one will think to do it.

Cleaning litter boxes is on my to-do list every day.  We have four boxes for five cats (technically five boxes, but one is out in the sunroom and the cats haven't been out there much lately).  The boxes are scattered through the house: two in the utility room, one in the living room and one in the master bedroom.  So,in order to complete the task, I pretty much have to traipse through the whole house.  Whatever  my excuse is, I don't get the litter scooped as often as I should. Luckily our cats are pretty tolerant.  I get the boxes scooped 2 or 3 times a week.  It's not nearly enough and I'm working hard on changing my habits on this one.  It's slow going though.  It's really hard to convince myself to do something that I can't find any pleasure in.  It's not even very satisfactory.  The two main bonuses of having clean boxes are that a) the cats keep their business in the boxes and b) the house doesn't stink of cat.

I mentioned I have a sunroom, right?  It's almost as big as my family room, and unfortunately it is unusable most of the time because we use it as a staging area for things going to our detached garage.  Cleaning it is on my weekly list of things to do.  I skip it a lot. A LOT.  Right now, there are still boxes stacked out there from Christmas, waiting to go to the garage.  The dirt is piling up because we go through the room to let the dogs in and out of the house into the backyard.  It's a shame it is a mess all of the time.  My father in law and I spent several weeks last year ripping up the carpet and tiling the floor.  Especially this time of year (winter in Florida) it would be great to be able to spend time out there.  I keep telling myself that if I get the family to help haul the boxes, I'll be able to clean it in a jiffy.  So far, I haven't even asked the family for help.

I could mention my yard here.  I don't have a good excuse for not working in the yard - I love to garden.  I could mention my utility room here.  I use it daily and I still let it get gross.  Both of these things have days in my routine to get done.  I skip them more often than not.

So, I still have some work to do on establishing my full routine.  I'm determined to get there eventually.  I give myself pep talks, remind myself that it won't take long if I break it up into smaller tasks.  It hasn't worked yet.  I'm still avoiding these jobs.  So, if you have any way to convince me to do them, let me know.  Because I really don't wanna do them!!!

Obstacles in the Path

Through the years, I've had the best of intentions (most of the time) as far as my housework has gone.  Sure, there have been some times that I frankly did not want to do the work.  More often, I made efforts and then got sidetracked.  What are the obstacles that sidetracked me? Why were they so persistent? 

The obstacles range from illness to procrastination, reasons to excuses.  My biggest obstacle has probably been procrastination.  I'm great at it.  I'm procrastinating right now by writing this instead of doing my morning cleaning!  The only cure for procrastination is to make a decision to get the task done.  The biggest challenge to getting something done is starting it.  So, although I can think of all kinds of things I could be doing instead of cleaning, the reality is that if I just start doing it, I'm more likely to finish it. 

I've also had problems with illness and depression through the years.  There's really not a ton that can be done to alleviate these except to seek treatment.  You may also find it beneficial to ask for help if you're in one of these situations.  This past fall I dealt with two months of being too sick to do housework.  I asked my family for help - not just my immediate family, but my parents-in-law as well.  I was so grateful that everyone stepped in to help the house run when I was unable to do it.  I will say if you constantly use illness or depression as an excuse not to do work (if you're not really sick enough to do the work) those around you start to feel used.  Trust me, I've been there.

So, what if you're able to do the work, but don't do it because you feel like everyone else is using you?  As an example, you let the dishes pile up because you feel like your husband should be pitching in and doing them.  I am guilty of doing this - particularly with the trash can.  We call it Trash Can Jenga - see how much you can pile on top of the overflowing trash can before it all topples over.  Whoever loses has to take the trash out.  So, when I realized I was doing this, having resentment against my family for not pitching in, I had to examine where the feelings were coming from and how to fix it.  I realized that I wasn't keeping up my part of the bargain my husband and I had made:  He brought home the money and I did the housework.  If you don't have such an agreement, you may have a different reason for feeling this way.  My solution to feeling this way was a) to do my best to get the housework done and b) to ask for help when I was truly overwhelmed.  Think about it:  in all the time you let the resentment build, did you ever ask for help with specific things?  I find it much more effective to say "Would you please do the dishes?" instead of saying "Could you clean up the kitchen?"  Depending on your situation, you may have valid reasons for feeling resentment towards others in your household.  If that's the case, a frank conversation about your feelings is probably needed so that you can work together to find a solution.  If you stew on the inside it just makes things worse.

I find my routines invaluable in helping me get the work done.  It's taken me years to get to the point where I even have a routine.  It's been a long progression of starts and stops.  Often, I'd be doing well with the routine only to have it fall apart when there's an interruption.  Even something as simple as a long weekend off for the kids could totally ruin my momentum.  So, I'd scrap that routine, go without for awhile, and then try again.  Starts and stops are normal. Don't beat yourself up, just keep trying.  I kept trying and trying and I'm proud to say that even after two months of interruption, I got back to my routine as soon as I was able. I don't want to tempt fate.  My current routine may yet fall apart and I'll have to start over again.  If that's the case, at least I know I made it farther with this one than I did the last.

There are lots of reasons and excuses out there.  These are my big ones.  What are yours?
 

Routinely Done

I am a creature of routine.

I used to wake up, have breakfast, take my medicines (usually), take my son to school, and then come home and take a nap.  I spent my days figuring out ways to avoid chores, which was exhausting. I slept a lot.  Ok, I was also dealing with depression and various medical concerns.  Still, I didn't make any effort to establish a routine which included doing any chores.  Chores were done in a haphazard, sporadic fashion.  Dishes only got done when there was a dire need for clean ones.  Laundry only got done when someone said, "I need clean underwear!"

It took a lot to break these habits.  It took wanting to change the habits.  It also took months of starts and stops.  I made lists for myself, checking off each thing I did as I did it.  Eventually, it began to become second nature.

I'm not into routines that deal with every minute of every day.  Maybe that works for some people, but not for me.  In my routine now, after I drop off my son at school, I do my basic chores.  I've decided that I will do about one room a day.  By now, I've memorized which day goes with which room.  I still print up my weekly schedule and check things off of it when I get them done, though.  My basic chores now take me about 30 minutes to do.  They often took closer to an hour when I started, but I've gotten a rhythm down for each room that makes things go faster.

Having a time and a place for each day has helped me so much.  I'm not spending my energy avoiding chores.  Instead, I have found ways to put in a minimum of effort to accomplish what needs to be done, and I've made it routine.  If I do nothing other than these basic chores for a week, my house will still look neat and cared for.  Without that routine, though, I'd still be doing things haphazardly.  With this routine, I know each part of my house will get cleaned at least once a week.

Establishing routines is one way to develop good housekeeping habits. 

Make a Snowball

Have you ever heard of a 'debt snowball'?  It's a popular financial approach.  Dave Ramsey has made it popular most recently, although I've seen it used by many other financial teaching methods.  Here's how it goes:  You make a list of all your debts. Arrange them from the smallest amount of debt to the largest amount.  Then, you keep paying minimums on all of the debts except the smallest one - that one, you throw any extra money into so that you pay it down quickly.  Once that smallest debt is paid off, you take the amount you were paying on it and roll it into the payments of the next smallest debt.   With each debt you're paying off, you're creating a larger and larger money amount to pay off the next debt.  Get it?  You're making a snowball to pay off your debt.

So, I was thinking about it and the same idea can be used for chores.  Do you feel like you're constantly cleaning around your house and not making a dent in the mess?  Are you spreading your efforts around the house?  Try this:

Start by making a list of all the chores that need to be done in one room of the house - preferably the smallest one, usually the bathroom.  Then arrange those chores by how long they will take to do.  Put the shortest first on the list.  It may take you a week to get through the list, and that's ok.  Take it slow and steady, but keep on plugging away at your list.  In the rest of the house, concentrate on the bare minimum to keep it going - do the dishes, maybe pick up clutter in the most lived in room.  Don't spread your efforts over the whole house though.  Keep them mostly focused on the one room you're working on.

Once you finish that room, you'll probably feel a sense of accomplishment!

Lately I've been using this method to get my home deep cleaned.  I do my minimum chores for each day.  Then I turn my focus to the room I'm working on. I started with my tiny foyer.  It was so easy, I pretty much just wiped off walls and scrubbed the floor.  It got my momentum started, though.  I diverted from the snowball idea, simply because I didn't move on to the next smallest room, but I still turned all of that energy on to the next room: the living room.  I scrubbed every wall and surface, moved things away from the wall to scrub behind them. I cleaned baseboards. The list went on.  After I did the living room, I did the kitchen.

I've been amazed at how much I can get done in a room using this method.  I thought there was no way I'd get through my whole list for the kitchen!  But I finished it by Wednesday!  What a feeling that was!

This week, I'm moving on to the dining room.  I have a huge task here because my china cabinet needs cleaning out.  Not just dusting but decluttering.  I'm dreading this task.  But I know the momentum will build each day. Even if I only do a shelf or cabinet a day, I'll make progress.  I know I may not get it all finished this week, but I hope I do.

Try this chore snowballing effort!  Focusig all of your effort on one room at a time increases your productivity. The Happy Herbivore describes a method of task snowballing too.  Maybe that method will help this idea make sense.  Let me know if you try it.  I'd like to know how it works for you!

It's a Job!

Whether you stay at home or work a job outside the home (or from home, in fact!) keeping house is a job.  Your family "employs" you to get the work done, by tacit agreement.  Whether this is being read by a man, woman or both, maintaining a home's cleanliness should be considered a full time job.


Let's face it.  Some people get paid to do the work you do for free.  In fact, an analysis by Mint.com  showed the relative value of the homemaker - what a person might get paid if they were doing all of the jobs a homemaker does.  It's upwards of $90,000, if you believe it.  However, society doesn't see the same value. 

The lack of respect for stay at home parents is evidenced by the question we're all inevitably asked at some point in our adult lives: "So, what do you do?"  Well, it's not the question which expresses the lack of respect.  It's the reaction when you tell a person that you are a stay at home parent, or worse, a homemaker whose kids have gone to school or are grown.  Matt Walsh wrote a frank and honest post about these kinds of questions when they are aimed at his wife.   His post was quite controversial, actually, drawing fire from both sides of the fence.  He basically defended his wife - stating that yes, she works as a stay at home mom, and her work is very valuable to their family. 

Your personal value rests not in what you do or don't bring home monetarily.  You are valuable to your family because you are YOU.  You are parent, safety and love.  Your value is not dependent on what work you do.  Whether you are a domestic goddess or a cleaning challenged mortal, the contributions you make to your home are bonuses - but not the whole story.

The planning, the work and effort you put into creating a warm, inviting place for your family to rest away from the world's cares does have value.  You'd have to pay someone else to do the same thing for your family, right? 

I've come to believe I must treat housekeeping as a job.  Parenting may be my main job, but housekeeping is the one that takes the most time these days.  If I'm going to do the job, I want to do it to the best of my abilities- I'm blessing my family with each task I complete.  Since I consider it my job, I take responsibility for the work that needs doing.  True, sometimes I delegate that work to some deserving family member.  But I do acknowledge that in the end, it's my responsibility to see it gets done.

Duty, responsibility, blessing....My value rests not in what I do or don't do around the house, any more than it rests on what I may or may not bring home monetarily.  I am valuable, as are you, simply because I am.  I deserve dignity no matter what my job is.  Don't let someone else's bad attitude towards homemaking keep you from believing in your own worth and dignity.  You are important in this world.

 

Having a Positive Attitude - a Game Changer

When staring at the chaos of a messy house, it's really hard to feel positive about anything to do with it.  Cleaning small things hardly seems to make a difference individually and it can be discouraging.  This is where that phrase comes in:

Every small thing you do is a blessing to your home.

How do you put it in to other words which will convince you to keep up the work which seems so impossible? You have to phrase your accomplishments in positive terms, rather than negative. So, instead of saying, "Yeah, I got the dishes done, but my kitchen is still a wreck." You could say, "Yay! I got the dishes done! What an accomplishment that is!"  Once you get the feeling of accomplishment from thinking so positively, you can move on to thinking, "What else can I do to make it better?" rather than thinking, "Ugh, there's still so much left to do."

At Success Through Self Improvement they recommend a number of strategies for finding a positive attitude about life in general.  Smiling, laughing and listening to favorite music are several of the ways.  These can be applied to making cleaning house much more pleasant.  My favorite thing to do is to throw on some upbeat, happy music and dance around while I clean.  The silliness of my dancing often makes me smile and laugh. 

Adopting a positive attitude is a decision you make.  It's deciding how you will react to situations you're in: Will you phrase the situation in a positive light or a negative one?  Inc, recommends this very thing, along with a number of others.  Listing out positive ideas and reviewing them when you feel negative is another great idea.

This is where my lists come in.  I can look at my lists and see the tasks I've crossed off and tell myself what a good job I'm doing.  Or, if I the list is just depressing and overwhelming me, I will remind myself that x task will ONLY take 5 minutes.  Instead of saying to myself, "Oh man, this is going to take FOREVER," I phrase it in a way that is more positive.  It's psyching myself up to get the job done as quickly as possible.This way, at the end, I can look at the job I've done and be proud not just that I did it, but that I got it done quickly.

If none of this works, realize how lucky you are to have a home and enough things to make a mess.  Many people are less fortunate.  If you have to throw thing in the garbage or give things away (or sell them) in order to declutter your house, you are one of the lucky few.  Maybe you wish it would all jus go away, that you didn't have this "problem" to deal with. But think how fortunate you are to have such an abundant life.  Tiny Buddha talks about this idea when creating a positive outlook on life.

Basically, if you're not a naturally positive person, or you've lost the ability to see the world in a positive view, you can teach yourself.  The benefits of having a positive attitude about life are not limited to your ability to clean the house.  The positive attitude will infiltrate your whole existence and make things seem better.  It's all how you look at things.  Choose a positive outlook for a better life.

Take it Slow and Steady

My son hates to do his homework. He has this perception that it will take him a long time to do, so he just doesn't bother starting.  Does this sound familiar?  A lot of times we, as the main cleaners of our home, have the perception that our home is so messy, it'll take forever to clean it....why bother?  Just like with my son and his homework, it's important to look at the task one part at a time.  It can become much less overwhelming then.


For example, it only takes a couple of minutes to unload the dishwasher and to load it up again.  Sweeping the kitchen floor only takes a few minutes.  Dusting a ceiling fan is also a quick job.  There are dozens of quick things to do around the house that will make a dent in the mess.  You've heard it before, and I'll say it again:

Every thing you do for your home is a blessing

There are one minute chores, five minute chores and even eight minute chores, because eight is easier than ten, right?  So, I've put together some links that list out some chores in all of those time increments.  I hope you'll find them as helpful as I have.

Got a Minute? - Housewife How-to's

5 Minute Chores - Chasing Supermom

Focus on 8 minutes - Life Hacker

I hope these ideas will help you find more ways to bless your home with some cleaning.  Small sections of the day committed to doing quick chores can make a huge difference in hacking away the chaos.