Breaking the Cycle

For so many years of living with the cycle, I've let myself drown in the days of down.  I'd sleep, eat horrible food which just made the urge to sleep worse, and I'd avoid all things healthy, like exercise.  This past week, I found myself down again.  I was sleeping during the day, not doing my housework, and my kid was late to school several times because I just couldn't handle the fight to force him out of bed.

On Sunday night, after a particularly rough day at work, I decided it was going to stop.  The next day, Monday, I was going to pull myself together and begin the climb out of the hole.  I've made this decision before in the past...and promptly rolled back over and went back to sleep.  Monday morning, yesterday morning, I reaffirmed my decision to have both a better attitude and a more productive day.

I got my kid off to school on time, thanks to the fact that he got himself out of bed without my nagging him.  As we were leaving for school, I made my first solid choice towards feeling better: I packed the dogs into the car with us, ready to take a walk at the park.  I dropped the boy off at school and immediately drove to the park to explore the nature path with the puppies.  They enjoyed the time out of the house.  Although I felt like I was dragging myself down the muddy path after them, I did have a clearer head by the end of the walk.

Unfortunately when we got home, I laid down on the bed for awhile, ruining any momentum I had gained.  When I dragged myself out of bed around noon, I made another choice towards feeling better.  Housework was too daunting, so instead I went grocery shopping.  It wasn't a happy trip. I felt like I was wading through molasses most of the time, and I had a horrible headache.  But I did it and I made sure I bought fresh fruit and vegetables. 

That was another decision in the positive direction.  I also bought orange juice.  I'm not normally a juice drinker, but yesterday afternoon, I was drinking glass after glass of orange juice!  I honestly think it helped perk me up.  By the time my husband got home, I had cleaned up the kitchen and made dinner from scratch. If you had told me in the beginning of the day that I'd have the energy to do either of those, let alone one of them, I'd have laughed at you.

Decision by decision, choice by choice, I'm determining how my day will go.  Rather than let my mood decide what I do in the day, I'm trying to make what I do during the day decide my mood.  Today, I once more took the dogs to the park after dropping off my son.  Although I came home and laid down again, when I got up I cleaned the bathrooms.  Yes, I did lay down again after I did that, too.  I am up now though, drinking my orange juice and contemplating the pile of laundry that needs folding. 

I may not be a model of productivity, but every step I take towards being more productive, is a step in the right direction.