A Fresh Start

Yesterday was cool and gray.  My ears were itchy and painful.  I was grumpy.  I didn't get anything done around the house.  I did not follow my routine which said I was supposed to clean the kitchen and dining room.  I went to the doctor and then sat around watching movies and crocheting.

I could let this day off totally kill my routine.  I could let it be an obstacle I can't go over.  I could get distressed because, oh by the way, we're having company over tonight and the kitchen floor has paw prints from the dogs, among other things.

Instead, I will return to the regularly scheduled program: I will pick up with today's chores and forget about yesterday's.  Oh, if I have time and energy I may still take care of the kitchen and dining room. But I am not going to stress over them.  I will not get hung up on the fact that I missed day. I will move forward from where I stand, not trying to make up the day I missed, forgiving myself the day I took to rest.

Each morning, I have the chance to start over, to make a fresh start.  Each day I make the choice to let yesterday affect my mood today, or to forget about yesterday's choices, indiscretions or mistakes.  My favorite line from the movie The Lion King is from Rafiki.  He whacks Simba on the head and Simba says, "Ow! What was that for?!" Rafiki grins and says, "It doesn't matter! It's in the past!"

In the past, I have a let a day like yesterday freeze me.  I'd see the daunting task of catching up with yesterday AND doing today's list.  I'd feel immediately overwhelmed.  Then the feelings of inadequacy, self bashing, the feeling of being a failure, would rise.  I'd throw my hands up and give up....there goes the routine.  For months, I'd avoid doing all but the most basic chores, simply because I'd missed that one day and gotten discouraged.

It's only when I took Rafiki's words to heart that I began to move forward, to realize that one day does not make a shambles of the routine I've set.  Taking one day off when I'm not feeling well, or have other things that are drawing my attention, is not a horrible thing.  I can't beat myself up over it.  I can't lose sight of the bigger picture - which is to make my home comfortable and neat. 

Nina Simone sings a song called Feelin' Good.  It's been a favorite of mine since high school.  It reminds me that each day I get the chance to start my life over, to choose to feel good instead of bad.  When I remember the song, it inspires me to be kind to myself after a bad day.  It frees me to begin my routine over again from where I stand, with no regrets or flagellation for having an off day.

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day! It's a new life for me.....and I'm feelin' good."