Obstacles in the Path

Through the years, I've had the best of intentions (most of the time) as far as my housework has gone.  Sure, there have been some times that I frankly did not want to do the work.  More often, I made efforts and then got sidetracked.  What are the obstacles that sidetracked me? Why were they so persistent? 

The obstacles range from illness to procrastination, reasons to excuses.  My biggest obstacle has probably been procrastination.  I'm great at it.  I'm procrastinating right now by writing this instead of doing my morning cleaning!  The only cure for procrastination is to make a decision to get the task done.  The biggest challenge to getting something done is starting it.  So, although I can think of all kinds of things I could be doing instead of cleaning, the reality is that if I just start doing it, I'm more likely to finish it. 

I've also had problems with illness and depression through the years.  There's really not a ton that can be done to alleviate these except to seek treatment.  You may also find it beneficial to ask for help if you're in one of these situations.  This past fall I dealt with two months of being too sick to do housework.  I asked my family for help - not just my immediate family, but my parents-in-law as well.  I was so grateful that everyone stepped in to help the house run when I was unable to do it.  I will say if you constantly use illness or depression as an excuse not to do work (if you're not really sick enough to do the work) those around you start to feel used.  Trust me, I've been there.

So, what if you're able to do the work, but don't do it because you feel like everyone else is using you?  As an example, you let the dishes pile up because you feel like your husband should be pitching in and doing them.  I am guilty of doing this - particularly with the trash can.  We call it Trash Can Jenga - see how much you can pile on top of the overflowing trash can before it all topples over.  Whoever loses has to take the trash out.  So, when I realized I was doing this, having resentment against my family for not pitching in, I had to examine where the feelings were coming from and how to fix it.  I realized that I wasn't keeping up my part of the bargain my husband and I had made:  He brought home the money and I did the housework.  If you don't have such an agreement, you may have a different reason for feeling this way.  My solution to feeling this way was a) to do my best to get the housework done and b) to ask for help when I was truly overwhelmed.  Think about it:  in all the time you let the resentment build, did you ever ask for help with specific things?  I find it much more effective to say "Would you please do the dishes?" instead of saying "Could you clean up the kitchen?"  Depending on your situation, you may have valid reasons for feeling resentment towards others in your household.  If that's the case, a frank conversation about your feelings is probably needed so that you can work together to find a solution.  If you stew on the inside it just makes things worse.

I find my routines invaluable in helping me get the work done.  It's taken me years to get to the point where I even have a routine.  It's been a long progression of starts and stops.  Often, I'd be doing well with the routine only to have it fall apart when there's an interruption.  Even something as simple as a long weekend off for the kids could totally ruin my momentum.  So, I'd scrap that routine, go without for awhile, and then try again.  Starts and stops are normal. Don't beat yourself up, just keep trying.  I kept trying and trying and I'm proud to say that even after two months of interruption, I got back to my routine as soon as I was able. I don't want to tempt fate.  My current routine may yet fall apart and I'll have to start over again.  If that's the case, at least I know I made it farther with this one than I did the last.

There are lots of reasons and excuses out there.  These are my big ones.  What are yours?